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I think being an aromantic asexual is kind of like growing up in a world where people randomly burst into song, as if they were in a musical, and I’m that one person who doesn’t get involved in the musical numbers, and is wondering what the heck is going on. After a while I got used to it, so it…

An extremely apt description!


Comments on this article

The first comment: Perhaps if I calmly vent about it on tumblr, it will keep me from punching things.

It is not any person, man or woman’s, responsibility to have sex whenever their partner wants. No person should have to come up with excuses for why they do not want sex. All they have to do is say no. They shouldn’t need an excuse for deciding what they do with their own body. It’s something you have to figure out with your partner, not something that is just owed to you!

People like this are what keep asexuals like myself repressed, in the closet, and never wanting to get married. And you’re not helping any marriages by trying to guilt people who have lower libidos into having more sex with their partners either. You’re only making people more miserable by making them feel like they’ve made an unbreakable contract that rules over them making their own decisions about their body forever.

The last comment thread: Thank you for being apparently the only one in the comment section not talking about “but how does the guy feel?” “frigid female!” “Only 26 and only having sex once a week? This is a problem!” Whoever the first and last people in that thread were you made me want to cry a little less, so thanks for that.


the therapist of my sister says asexuality is unhealthy because something is missing or something went wrong because of the lack of sexual attracktion. I tried to explain my sister that there is a different between attraction and arousal. Then she said “yeah, but you experience neither.” And I said that I’m sometimes aroused but that’s it. I do nothing for or against it because I don’t feel to. And that’s the point where her therapist says something is wrong. And now I’m confused and she says she want to go a therapist with me to find the reason why I’m asexual. Because sexuallity is the preservation instinct and it just shouldn’t be not there.

What am I supposed to do? I’m okay to go with her to a therapist, to listen to him/her… but… idk.

Was some of you guys at a therapist? Did he/she say the same or…?

That is a bad therapist. Do not go to that person. The DSM-V (the official manual of the American Psychiatric Association) recognizes asexuality as a sexuality, not something that can be treated or cured, and definitely not an illness. I have no idea where you live, but that’s the truth - asexuality is not wrong. It does not need to be cured. Anyone who says so cannot be trusted.

There isn’t a reason for asexuality. Like all sexualities, it’s a combination of genetic expression and environmental impact. So it may be that there are events that “caused” it, but it’s just as likely that you were born this way and your genetic code calls for it. 

Also, I am calling complete bullshit on the preservation instinct shit. Unless that therapist thinks they need to talk to every single person who doesn’t want to have kids, they are picking and choosing reasons to bash asexuality. Fact is, some asexuals do have sex, despite not feeling sexual attraction. Asexuality is about that lack of attraction, not sexual behavior. 

You should not talk to this therapist. Ever. It will not be good for you.


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